#momlife

If Tupac had Thug Life, I have #momlife.  I’ve tweeted this in the past but now momma friends, I’m throwing the door wide for you to leave your own #momlife comments below. Yes, I am old. I listened to Tupac back in the day. And now he has made his return in my imagination while I compose lyrics about being a mom to the tune of “I get around.” The incident below spurred me to finally write this post.

image from music.yahoo.com
image from music.yahoo.com

Running around doing errands before a trip and stepping out of the car to drop off our lawn mower to be sharpened for a moment elicits screaming and crying from my toddler Oz. My oldest Reuben sitting in the back seat has been given a treat bag at school which he seems to be happily munching on. As we are driving around he yells from the backseat “um, I have gum on my knee!!” I am unaware that he even has gum. Upon asking how he got gum on his knee he replies “I wanted to see if the gum would stretch from my mouth to my knee…..oh great! Now its on my booster seat….and my shorts….great….now people will call me gum-leg-candy-butt!!”  I think to myself, people could probably call me candy butt too with how much chocolate I’ve been stress eating.

I know it’s not just my life that is like this. Seeing your posts on facebook, hearing your stories and laughing and crying together has brought me to compile a list of #momlife moments. Text it, tweet it, facebook or comment below but I know you’re having days like this as well where you want to both laugh and cry. Where you feel like a warrior thug for making it through the day round and round in your minivan just trying to keep it together. Welcome to #momlife.

image from: http://fashionfever.tumblr.com/page/7
image from: http://fashionfever.tumblr.com/page/7
  • Discovering your daughter has colored your white dining room chairs, table and her arms and legs in multiple colors of sharpie. Or that your son has colored your dining room table with a sharpie. Hiding every single sharpie in your house only to have your child mysteriously continue to find them though you have sworn you have put them all away.
  • Your daughter praying for Siri and the earthworm she found during her nightly prayers.
  • Buying clothes from Target, Wal-Mart or goodwill because your shoulders, and knee areas of clothing are perpetually stained from children wiping their hands/mouths/other dirty body parts on your clothing as if you were a napkin. It’s just not worth it to spend money on clothes though you still want to look cute as a mom. Thankfully all the other moms you know have stains on their clothing in these areas too.
  • Taking your child to daycare/a sitter just so you can sleep. Dreaming about having a date with your husband where you sleep and then sit in your own home in peace and quiet.
  • Feeling overwhelmed that while your child sleeps you could: a. take a nap as well b. finish that craft project you started three months ago, c. wash the pile of dishes in the sink d. check Facebook telling yourself that you’ll get off of it soon to be productive only to hear your child’s cries a hour later when you wonder where the time went.
  • Being amazed that a jar of bubble potion can entertain your children for hours- forget expensive and elaborate summer camps! I have a bubble wand and I know how to use it!
  • Your son tangling himself in his seatbelt in his booster seat to the point where you contemplate cutting the seatbelt off because you cannot figure out how to get him out. You decide that your husband will freak out if you cut the seatbelt and consider that it will be one of those ridiculously expensive things to replace. You drive to your husband’s work so he can deal with his crazy son and he flips him around and around to untangle him which you couldn’t do because you’re 8 months pregnant with your other son in a carseat as well.
  • You rotate holding whichever child happens to be crying hoping that eventually one will stop so you can drink the cup of coffee you’ve already heated up three times after brewing it hours ago.
  • Seeing your son’s placid face while he is sleeping, being grateful for how much joy he brings, relief that he is sleeping, and dread that only in a few short hours he will awake again to find those blasted sharpies you have so carefully hidden.
  • You wonder if Tony Hawk’s mom has written a book about how to survive being a mom with a son who likes to jump, crash, ride and balance on all sorts of things that will inevitably result in broken bones, fractured skulls and lots of visits to the ER.

Photo on 6-5-13 at 11.21 AM #2

Photo on 6-5-13 at 11.24 AM #3

Bein’ a Momma ain’t eaaaasy!

That’s right baby- that’s how I roll…no makeup, dark circles under my eyes, really old sweatshirt, chipped gold nail-polish and my wedding bling. Do not step to this or you’ll get served. #momlife repreSENT!!

  16 comments for “#momlife

  1. June 5, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    I have 10 bullet points just from that past 2 hours…ugh. #momlife #1stdayofsummer

    • June 5, 2013 at 4:06 pm

      I am trying to talk myself into believing that summer won’t be crazy and difficult but that it will be a fun adventure. I’m sure it will be both 🙂

  2. June 5, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    Oh my gosh, this is so so so great! And so true! I must share this entry with the world. I, too, have experienced the marker situation, although it was not a Sharpie! Julia has colored her bellybutton area and the bottoms of her feet with purple, green and most recently, orange Crayola markers. I can’t get it off no matter how much I use soap and water. It will just have to stay there and fade away as time goes by. OH, and if I find one more sticker stuck to a window or mirror in my house I may scream!!!! They don’t come off easily! ARGH

    • Audrey
      June 5, 2013 at 8:41 pm

      Stickers…….vinyl siding. We are forever going to have outlines of little insects by our side door. Come on over and check it out!!

      • June 5, 2013 at 10:16 pm

        ah stickers- seem like such a great distraction for kids. and then you find them all over your hardwood floors. I will have to come over- and bring some wine/truffles too!

  3. Audrey
    June 5, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Sitting rocking one boy because he does not feel good. Then the other wants attention, so he climbs up and sits in the free space. Instead of taking in the moment and devouring this precious time, you are thinking and agonizing over your to-do list that is not getting done.

    • June 5, 2013 at 10:15 pm

      I know the feeling! Being torn between the snuggling and the to-do list.

  4. Nicole
    June 5, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    While typing up staff reviews, my little man barfed all over my computer. I spent have the morning trying to wipe the spit up out of they keys on my key pad so my computer doesn’t smell like sour milk for the rest of it’s life. Later that afternoon, the staff review is fresh out of the printer…. Sam barfs all over the review. Too tired and too late to clean it up (late because of a prior diaper blow out), I head to the review with a sour milk paper. Thank goodness I chose a pub to do the staff review cuz this mamas gonna need a drink! #ivmomlife and #thuglifedoingreviewsatpubs.

    • June 5, 2013 at 10:16 pm

      oh wow- that’s awful. and that smell is terrible. Good thing you were at a pub!

  5. June 6, 2013 at 7:25 pm

    hahahahaha. love this. those bottom pics of you are freaking priceless! your’re a smoothie, Jess!

  6. June 15, 2013 at 9:30 am

    What is UP with Sharpies, anyway? They’re not only indelible, but also magical. Parents make them disappear and children make them reappear. It’s dark magic obviously…

    • Jessica
      June 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm

      I think there is something in Juicy Juice that enables this dark magic…what else would explain their constant demand of such juice?

  7. June 18, 2013 at 10:45 am

    You had me at dark circles under my eyes and chipped gold nail polish, Jessica:) Probably because that’s what I’m sporting myself today as I try to keep up with my 1 year old and 3 year old. I love that you’re an InterVarsity staff person – I owe so much of my spiritual foundation and strengthened relationship with Jesus to being a part of IVCF at Central Michigan University for 5 years. And I love that you use the phrase “evangelawesome” because that’s how we refer to our much berated-in-the-news community (Saginaw): Saginawesome! Bless you!

    • Jessica
      June 18, 2013 at 12:52 pm

      yeah! Saginaw! Much better than sag nasty. My mom grew up there and we used to visit my grandma when she lived there. We always enjoyed Spatz’s bread toasted with cinnamon and sugar on it. When were you at CMU? I was part of InterVarsity at Michigan state during undergrad. I wonder if we overlapped at any conferences?

  8. Bethany
    June 21, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    New site looks awesome Jess! Had a moment on vacation…while trying to wash the breast pump stuff, holding the baby trying to butp her, James wanted something and had forgotten all manners. I was trying to encourage manners when the baby pooped all the way thru her clothes on to my arm and shoulder. I actually said “okay vacation is over!” (It was the first day of seven.” #ineedavacationtorecoverfrommyvacation

    • Jessica
      June 23, 2013 at 6:04 am

      Wow- that sounds rough. Yep- you know what #momlife is all about.

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