Forget the Pandora bracelets. This is what we really want.
For the love of Pete, we are so stinkin’ tired. We worry about the projects that need to be completed at work, whether we’re doing enough to make a difference in our chosen field, if we should be doing more to advance our career, or if it would be hurting our kids if we took on another trip/project/consulting gig even if we could earn more money to help our family and just maybe be able to afford a vacation. Even though our lives are full we wonder if we should sign up for a yoga class or spin because, frankly we feel like our thighs are getting bigger than we’d like, and we SHOULD be healthy and exercise. We try to remember to sign field trip permission slips, pick up more coffee filters, when the last time was we had sex and that it should probably be more often, and that there are 27 unreturned texts to friends that weigh on us because we don’t want her to think that we’re ignoring her.
Best gifts: 2-hours of uninterrupted sleep without hearing video games being played by the kids, or people knocking on the door asking if you’ve seen their shoes. Earplugs to go along with that 2-hours of sleep if the aforementioned can’t be avoided.
You know what feels really good to a mom who is wondering if she’s enough or does enough? Telling us all the ways you’re thankful for us & that you see the ways we care for our family. Write them down, speak them aloud, have the kids write an acrostic in crayons. Just say something. Words go a long way. Let us know you see us, value us and are grateful for all the ways we’re mommin’ so hard. Anything you do to put some effort into telling us these things are meaningful.
Best gifts: Homemade cards that you’ve helped the kids make, something that she’s told you she enjoys (hint: ask her “what would help you feel valued this Mother’s day?) It may not be flowers or other things that you’ve thought of. Ask us, and then do those things.
If you’ve read this far you’re now aware of all the things going on in our minds that wear on us. Beyond wrestling with the thoughts and the feelings there is the weight of coming home to tackle laundry mountain piled on the couch and brave the sea of unwashed dishes piling up on the counter. There is also the desire & pressure to make healthy food for our family but everyone likes hotdogs and we don’t feel like fighting with our kids about why broccoli and quinoa are YUMMMMMYYY.
Best gifts: A clean bathroom. Toys picked up and put away. A cleaning service to deep clean the house. The sight of these things are a wonder to behold and you will be our hero. Takeout- if the kids are at the stage when the restaurant floor looks like a hurricane of rice and cheese has come through after your family has left, or a meal out to someplace that doesn’t have a play place.
We became moms because you impregnated us, we paid a lot of money to go through fertility treatment or adopt kids. If you’ve gifted us with a nap, and if we feel like it help us release some all-natural oxytocin by being a generous lover. You might be tired from planning a great day for her, cooking dinner, taking care of the kids so she can nap & not feel like it at the end of a long day. That’s how we feel every day and yet we still knock da’ boots with you. We think you’ll have fun providing this gift even if you are tired.
Best gifts: If you can’t figure out what I’m talking about here you probably have some bigger problems that need to be addressed in your marriage. A clean bedroom where we won’t be distracted thinking about the laundry or the carpet that needs to be vacuumed.
There is nothing sweeter as a working mom to have un-rushed time with your kids where you feel the freedom to be present to them. Reading books, snuggling, playing outside & laughing together. Help us make some memories together to think about when we have rough days as moms. Quality time reminds us that we do love our kiddos (even when they throw fits about brushing their teeth EVERY SINGLE NIGHT), and that they love us (even when we tell them that we can’t listen to anything else about Minecraft or our heads will explode.) Being a mom is amazing when we can remember that love conquers the roughest of days and that we do have enough love to give to our kids.
Best gifts: Something your family likes to do together: hiking, living room dance parties, playing soccer- think about what your family likes! A photo of a special time as a family. Snuggles with the kids & time to laugh with them.
Don’t worry about finding the perfect gift. Even if you pick two of the five of these for moms you have given us a great mothers day. Now go clean the bathroom.