facebook,  friendship

friends, how many of us have them?

How do you decide who will be your friend on facebook? Magazines like Wired and Real Simple are offering guidance as to facebook etiquette or how to even buy friends for those of us that feel confused by navigating what it means to be a friend these days.

The hip hop group Whodini asked the question “friends, how many of us have them” You can listen to this classic nugget here:

I wasn’t aware that Whodini had a “best of” collection! Note to self; purchase on itunes.

The creators of facebook have said that their tool is meant to bring real-life relationships online, yet most of us have received friend requests from our third grade reading table partner, our aunt sally or the creepy dude who you met at a conference last year.

when I typed creepy dude into google images, this is what came up. creepy?
when I typed "creepy dude" into google images, this is what came up. creepy?

So how do you decide who will be your facebook friend?

Generally I friend anyone who requests it- being in student ministry I’d rather have an open policy of friending than a selective one. There are many people I meet at conferences or gatherings that I’ll have a significant conversation with- though they may live across the state or country, it’s nice to continue the relationship even if it is virtual.  The few times I’ve declined friend requests is from people in other countries that I’ve never met but are somehow loosely connected to people I know.  I felt a little bad sending the email of “can you remind me how we know each other?” but not so bad that I friended them.

Do you keep your friend list to people who you actually have relationships with? Do you use facebook professionally, as in for professional contacts or networking?  I’ve really liked reconnecting with people that I’ve often found myself wondering, “whatever happened to so-and-so?” Well, now I know what has happened to them because when we become facebook friends I click through all their pictures to see what their life has been like. Do you ever feel stalker-ish doing this? Or voyeuristic? After all, you’ve both made a decision to let them into your life/photo albums/wall posts/quiz about what their real inner animal is, so isn’t that just part of normal facebook relationships? It can still feel a little weird at times.

One of my friends asked last week “what would Jesus post as his status update?” (good question Katie!)  in response to my blog about the anxiety that can come with knowing what to post as a status update when you have an amalgamation of people you’re friends with on facebook.  I read an article awhile ago about how an author asked if Jesus would be a better facebook friend than her- friending those people that no one wants to be friends with, the awkward person, the girl who is always posting about how hung over she is, the status update complainer.  I’m kicking myself for not bookmarking it after I read it & my google searches have been no avail, if you happen to find it, send me the link. I did find this article however on America Magazine about what Jesus would post as his status updates; Jesus is casting out demons, Jesus is eating some fish…..:)

My real question about what would Jesus post is, would he post this video about himself?

One Comment

  • Grace

    I let anyone be my fb friend except creepy guys who write me weird messages with their friend invite that is generally offensive. I.E. “damn, girl you fine as hell, if you wanna be my friend, I’ll be good to you.” I’m not even kidding, I get those once a month. Usually by 14-17 yr. African American teen-aged boys. I just can’t shake ’em. I have no problem un-inviting creepy men who also send me private messages as well. Crazies.

    Other than that, I friend everybody & as soon as they write a status update that I don’t like (or bores me) or too often I use the “hide” feature. Though I have over 1,100 fb friends, I have all but my fave 50-70 friends hidden so I never have to interact with their content at all unless I search them out.

    It’s funny that you mentioned that article b/c I was really offended by her. (I think you can find it by asking Al Hsu, their actual friends). She writes this article about how Jesus would be a better facebook friend then her right? Okay, so then I go on facebook and invite her to be friend, telling her we had a mutual friend in Al Hsu & that I wanted to meet with her or learn from her how to market myself as a Christian writer for online publishing or what-not. And what does she do? She writes back that she will not be my facebook friend b/c she’s never met me.

    She was absolutely right, Jesus WOULD BE a better facebook friend than her. I’m still salty about it. Why write a vulnerable article and then not do anything about it. Made me rethink about whether or not I actually wanted to take advice from her in the first place. (Of course, I could be more snippy about today due to raging preggo hormones, but it did genuinely make my mad). I just can’t see Jesus being like “yeah, sorry you don’t fit my ‘requirements.'”

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